I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize