i just had sex bonerless
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
