Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
What did we do last night that was yellow?
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
