I think i peed on brittanys purse
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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