Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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