I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
