there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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