I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am spending my child support on dildos
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
