Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
