Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
