I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
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Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
