It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
