Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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