dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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