At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
My balls are so social today.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
he fucked my hip out of place.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
