dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
