I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
