Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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