So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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