Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
