i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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