Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So much rum. So many feels.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
