So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
