I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
