do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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