Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
