Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
