Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
