it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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