Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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