We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
