Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
