worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Let's get the cat blown out
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
