I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
