Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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