my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
