We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
smell my finger.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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