Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I touched a dick in church today
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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