btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
