well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
