u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
