Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
