She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i barfeds in our rink
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I just found a bag of teeth...
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
