Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
