Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
