dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
