I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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