Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Every concussion has its silver lining
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
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