Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
