You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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