Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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