Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
