How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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