Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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