btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
