New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
