Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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