This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
